12-18-04
lalala....too much sugar for me...
its almost midnite n here i am as hyper as all get out n i cant slp for nothin...ive been cleanin house for so long but its for a good cause...well i kinda dun have much more time to type, so ill finish lata...nite to all...cyas~
12-8-04
finals week...2 down, 3 to go...shoot me now >_<!!
ive been studyin so much lately tat i actually think ive been learnin stuff o.o!! lol im just messin...bout the learnin part ^^" lol...neway, ive got the hardest test out of the way, n now im studyin for the 2nd hardest, which is tomorrow mornin at 9 >_< my first test tat was on monday, the hard one, was for my history of the far east class...it was a 5 essay test about crazy topics like "Discuss the opening, Westernization, and modernization of Japan, 1853-1918." after 5 of those, im thru wantin to even think bout east asia lol...today, wednesday, was my 2nd test...it was for my spanish composition and conversation class (which is very easy >_>) but the test consisted of 1 essay question, and a paragraph about Christmas celebrations in Latin America...after tat i talked to my spanish teacher n she talked me into switchin my major to spanish, instead of international studies, since she thinks im good wit spanish...n then i went n argued wit one of my teachers ova the score of an extra credit test i took lol, n talked to my chinese teacher for bit...at bout 3:30 i came back to the room n finally ate somethin lol...well neways, i gotta get back to studyin, ill check in some time after finals n b4 Christmas...so till then, cyas~ A.R. ^^
sooo me rite now -_-'
11-14-04
lalala here i am once again to update my ever-changin life...
Well, for starters, I'm still as happy as can be. ^^ Lando and I have been planning this winter and the holidays and getting our fights lined out. So far, I'm flying out to Georgia for Thanksgiving week to stay with him and spend the holiday with his family. After that, I have to fly back and finish my last week of school, before finals start. When I'm out of school finally, I get to come back home and wait for him to come and stay with me for Christmas. But before school starts back up for me, hopefully, I can go back with him to Atlanta for New Years and stay for 2 more weeks. Basically, the only thing I have to worry about is keeping up with my classes and finishing my last few tests for all of them. I'm ready to leave right now, even though I've never flown on a plane before and have one more week to wait.
Along with all the good, there's been some bad. My phone bill last month was about $960 because my mom had told me the wrong calling plan for my cell. My parents and I had huge fight about all of that and I didn't talk to them for about a week and half. I even stayed away from home and didn't go see them on the weekends for about 2 weeks, but, seeing as how I'm at their house this weekend, things are better. I also had a ton of essays and projects and tests due the first week of November and this past week, but now things are slow again. Well, it's late, so I'm gonna go for now. I'll check in later sometime and update again, so cyas~. Alishia R. ;)
10-7-04
omg ive been gone so long n been so busy...
had lots of tests, essays, n hmk to do...so it kept me from bein at my comp, even tho most of the time i was signed into msn...so wat am i doin now n wat have i been up to? well hmm ^^i actually love some1 again, even after i was bein stubborn n kinda to myself...i just couldnt help it, n i know wat ive been thru in past, n i wont forget it, but arg...im really really willing to take tat chance one more time cuz i really love him. if u know me well, ur prob like "ya sure *rolls eyes* here u go again...just watch, same thing will happen as b4 n ull get soo upset like u always did in past n complain bout it" if so, watch me prove u wrong^^ cuz its not like tat nemore...theres a time wen u can look at wat u have now n wat u used to have n compare to see how well off u really r now... u can actually see the diff n u know tat this person u have now really does care n wants to be wit u, wants to protect u, wants to love u... i cant even describe how happy ive been lately n how i feel...ive found tat person tat makes me glad to be who i am, n tat loves me no matter wat, n makes me so happy...tats my Lando ^^ n ill fight for him till the end
well, wen lando hasnt been keepin me busy^^" ive been playin ro a bit since im not playin pt atm, but hopefully ill be on ffxi wit my papi soon if everythin works out...hmm lets see, also im tutorin some1 every now n then...hes from Taiwan n is an exchange student tats been round the US some...so wen we both r free, i help him wit his english n he teaches me some things in chinese...n also, huntin season is here :D!! turkey here i come^^ im out all...cyas~
9-10-04
hmm been long time since ive been here...so i guess time for a lil update, n somethin new this time...
well yes, ive started sch now...got 5 classes this sem n so far i guess they all r ok. my bday was last monday, on labor day, so we din have classes...it gave me more time to be wit my fam on the weekend. id say i had a good bday, cuz i got to see a lot of my fam n some old friends ive missed. this week i had my few first tests n a spanish paper due, but wit those out of the way, i can relax a bit more now...maybe play some ro or pt2. prob most ppl tat talk to me have noticed ive been kinda weird the past few days, so i guess ill do somethin ive neva done b4, n try to explain things...
im feelin confused rite now, so i feel its best if i just start writin bout wat im thinkin. i noticed today tat i have this habit...i feel its a bad habit. i tend to push ppl away tat dun feel or care bout me in the way i want them to. i guess it just hurts tat i cant be wat i want to be for ppl...n i cant stand to be round em n be reminded of tat everytime i try to talk to them...i just feel its better if i just be alone. lately ive had so many ppl upset wit me or maybe sad cuz ive been "mean," but tats not wat im aimin for -_- ive become distant wit some good friends lately cuz of this stupid habit -_- also, i automatically dun believe some1 bout somethin till they prove me wrong n make see or believe them. if they fail to show determination in tryin to prove me wrong n make me see the "truth" then i just give up on them n push them away -_- i know its cuz i got probs trustin ppl, n i also know its not really fair to othas. i just...uh...wen some1 tat ud die for, do nethin for, lies to u...its so hard to think tat u can trust otha ppl who maybe just call themselves a friend, n dun go to the extent of tat first person. if tat first person tat meant so much to u n supposedly relied on u so much couldnt be trusted, how can ne1 else be. in the process i mentioned b4 of tryin to get the truth from ppl, i lose a lot of friends -_- cuz they dun understand y i cant just trust them, n they just get upset wit me n leave, not wantin to deal wit it. i guess its just my process of thinnin out the ppl tat could harm me in some way -_- but at the same time, im losin ppl tat prob could be/are good ppl, n friends.
i hope if ive dun this to ne1 tats readin, tat they understand y a bit more -_- this is the first time ive actually let ppl know somethin bout me like this...bout y i do or think things the way i do. its actually somethin quite personal. i feel kinda odd writin this, but i guess maybe itll help in some way.
whoeva reads this, n no matter the day, try to make some1 tats upset smile the day u read this. see the diff it can make to tat person to let em know u care how they feel. ...cyas~
{2:16 am PiC G233N ~NoT fOuNd~ too upset to care}
8-24-04
Isn't it odd how something bad can just go away when something else happens?
Someone I knew died last night. He had been standing in my dorm room, talking to Beth and I, about 4 or 5 days ago. My cuz knew him better than I did, but still it's hit me, and I don't know how to deal with it. My cuz has been upset all day and I dunno what I can say that will help in any way. She's always seemed to me to be the stronger one, and this just hurts me to see her so upset. Nothing can make him come back, no matter how many ppl wish for it. No matter how many tears u cry, and when u wash your eyes and look around, he's still gone. No one understands why things happen, they just do. Ppl will try to explain, as their way to deal with it, but that's about all it's gonna do for anyone. So, here I sit typing this entry, as my way to deal with it. Because of all this, I wanted to edit my post from b4 and take out some things -_- lol. I'm still leaving most of it cuz how I felt is still true and I don't regret saying anything there. Right now, I'm not in the mood to talk bout how schools been and what I've been up to, so I'll save it for another day. I'm gone...cyas~
We'll miss you Bobby...
7-21-04
bah...i want school to start >_<
im sick of bein home...im tired of usin 56k wit laptop...ke lao yah one...i cant do much at all -_- i just wanna get away from ppl here n be left alone...i even nid hmk liao to get my mind off things >_< hmm...ive been messin round n makin some more songs...been doin so much tat i havent been writin much, so no new poems...usin songs to show my feelins now instead of words...is nice change...now if only i could combine the 2...oh yea...finally lvled lah...69 now...havent slept much in soo long...or eaten much :/ itll be lil bit b4 i get to 7x lor...less i dun leave pt at all till i lvl again...would take maybe 2 or 3 days tat way but hor as soon as i get 7x, im gonna be just tryin make money for while n save up...one good thing bout playin pt...im learnin chinese ^^ ive gotten so interested in it liao, i think i wanna try to take classes at my university if theyre still offered...neway...i think im done for now leh...gonna go find somethin to do...cyas~
7-13-04
lalala...finally decided to come back...
dun think ne1 really cares but hor oh well...just been shut up in my room for while workin on some things...my ata is almost 68 liao, i made anotha song, which im addin to still, been writin some stuff, n messin wit guitar lah...guess my stress lvl is finally down for bit lor seein as how some things have been goin pretty well...like i said, ive been messin wit my ata n even got spiked shield :P wah but so broke lah -_- siao one hor cost me 1.3mil...ke ex for me, but i nid...is bit better than my gs n looks nice too ^^ now i just nid to make enuf money to age @@ +2 liao n goin to +3 wen servers go back up lata...maybe it skip leh would save me some time n money ^^ i go chi liao...cyas~
7-4-04
happy 4th...yea...happy -_-
lol is supposed to be good day n all, my fav holiday -_- ...but eh...my good days r pretty much nonexistent now...but hmm guess i should listen to myself, like someone told me to do >_> things happen for a reason :/ whether i agree wit the reason or not >_< hmm...dunno wen things will go my way...i thought they already were -_- but oh well...lifeeeeeeeeeee, yep...surely ppl tat do still care wouldnt mind if i just left again for while...im obviously not tat important to be missed...hmm, dun even think ne1 would try to find me lol.......i feel like ive done somethin wrong, maybe tats y its like this...if tats the case, then i guess i deserve to be ignored :/ i think i need to go take some med n lie down...yea.......
7-1-04
im so sick of this world,
the stress is killin me,
its crawlin inside of me,
eatin at my soul,
it wont let me be,
i need to break free,
some1 save me plz,
i just wanna breathe...
ok...yea...just felt like sayin tat........neway...
almost the 4th now...hopefully well get some good stuff...cuz im really in mood to burn/blow some stuff up >_> ...haizzzzzzzzzzzz...i just need to go lock myself up in a room n forget bout all this crap...cuz im not gettin newhere, fast...just aloneeeee...againnnnnnnn...-_-'' i think imma go play my guitar for bit, maybe...or maybe eat, since i havent yet today...n its hmm...11:30pm lol...eh wateva...im out...cyas
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